Yes, I shot Santa. For trespassing, I don’t remember giving him permission or my house key. I don’t trust the guy, I mean, can you trust someone who’s dressed like a coke product? I bet that the guy has some links with some dark organizations... no, I’m not paranoid... just think about it: He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows if you’ve been bad or good... wtf?? Has he wired my house, street and city? Pervert! He's worse than the CIA.

And what's with the bag? Who sneaks into someone’s house carrying a big bag like that? Looks hiiiighly suspicious. So... I shot him, not with a lethal weapon or anything (I'm not registered with the NRA, I'm not that crazy), I used a slingshot and a bunch of pebbles to deal with him, he’s a hard target to miss at that size. Also, he pissed me off; I remember jerks that were failing school and were rude to everyone get everything they wanted. And some of good guys would only get clothes... for Heaven's sake! Who gives socks to nice kids and fscking cool toys to annoying idiots? He's corrupt, you can bet he recieves bribes every xmas.

There's something else that’s fishy about that fat guy too. He got the reindeer... does he know if they are an endangered species? Does PETA know about him? I can see protestors everywhere, but I never see them when Santa arrives. More proof that he's a mofo...

What about the elves? Do those guys have a union? Or are they just slaves of the big fat guy? ... or possibly, those guys are a gang and the red guy is the leader! Or is he a socialist? I doubt it, maybe he's a sellout or a double agent, since I see him everywhere in the States. And you still want him around your house?

I read a joke a long time ago, that the red guy is involved in your life and there are four stages of your life based on your relationship with Santa:

One: You believe in Santa. Two: You don’t believe in Santa. Three: You are Santa. And four: You look like Santa. Dammit the dude is everywhere!!! Somebody must stop him! I just shot him, and for a good reason.

Now if you excuse me, I have to get a fresh load of pebbles. Happy holidays for everyone. And if Santa doesn’t get to your place, well... it’s not my fault, the bastard left my place walking.

BTW: Dont do new year resolutions! You never make them you mfs :D Happy holidays and my best wishes for the new year 005! Cheers!